I walk into the grocery store to grab one item that I forgot for my lunch. I was distracted by the cinnamon brooms crowding the front section. Its finally starting to feel like fall but holy cow that is abrasive amount of cinnamon. This was not my normal store, just the one closest to my work. I paused on the edge of the aisle reading each sign for the category I am looking for. I stopped to look at the edge of the customer service counter as to not get in the way. I must have seemed lost because before I knew it an employee was walking towards me. I barely caught him out of the corner of my eye.

This guy had the kind of energy that I wish I had. Happy to be there? Happy to help? Maybe his first job? WAY too peppy for a Wednesday. “Hi ma’am, what can I help you find today” he almost yodeled a way only a young south Georgia boy can. I turned my head to talk to him, thankful as I was not looking to dilly dally. “The chip aisle please” I replied.

I kept eye contact as he told me the aisle number and told me the section to look out for. You could tell most people do not maintain eye contact with him. He almost stuttered a bit as he told me other locations some chips might be. “If you du don’t find what you are lookin for there you might want to check the deli because there are chips there too.” Eager to fully assist me. It was cute.

I gently smiled and nodded with my “Thank you”. I turned and headed to aisle 11 confused on how such a small store could house 11+ aisle to begin with. And then, almost like a movie, he was there.

I made eye contact with someone I had not seen in 8 years. Have not talked to. Or even thought about. All of the cockiness I had gained talking to the clerk had been sucked out of me. I literally choke on my own spit as that happens.

He is taller than I remember. His eyes kinder. His shoulders bigger? He is dressed simply with a polo and slacks. Sunglasses resting on top of his head. His presence however still breathtaking. I would be eager to help him find what he needs.

Actually absolutely not. I dropped my gaze to the peel and stick tile on the floor. Perfect. Did he notice? How could he not? I am so freaking awkward. He does not remember me. I look totally different, I have gained weight, barely wearing make up and in my work clothes. He does not remember who I was. Just make it to 11.

He was walking towards the check out which was now behind me. I focus on the ground. If I could just make it through this, I will for sure never see this person again. I make it to the aisle, grab what I needed and paused. What if he is still checking out? I don’t even remember what was in his hands. Is he still shopping maybe? I just remember his eyes fixated on mine. He had a way with blocking out the whole world when he looked at me.

I took a breath and try to gather myself before turning to leave the aisle and get the heck out of here. Coast is clear as I beeline for the first self checkout I see. Why is the audio on these things at volume 100. I collect my bag and make it to the sliding glass door. I made it. He didn’t see me. Or worse.. maybe I even imagined him. Maybe I am too sleep deprived for outside interaction. I take a deep inhale of beautiful fall weather and trot to my car.

I round the corner, take my keys out of my bag and drop them as I see him up against my car. “Hey!” he said with a smirk knowing full well he caught me off guard.

“Um, Hi.” I said annoyed that I was not getting away that easy.

“I didn’t know you shopped here.” he said happily.

“I don’t. its just.. ” I paused not realizing he no longer knew me. “its near my work.”

“At least you have the same car. If not, it would have been awkward.”

He gave me this half smile. Looking for an opening to have a talk. He went from leaning against my car to standing directly in front of me. The wind blew towards me. The smell of his cologne was the same. It was like a lumberjack and cowboy had a baby. His bulging muscles tighten around the plastic bag he was holding.

Suddenly I was 22 again and getting off of work at Mellow Mushroom. He would walk me to my car after he and I closed the restaurant. We were in love. It was so simple, so romantic and we could not keep our hands off of each other. On our nightly walks to my car, his hands enveloped mine. As we got close he would gently release it and move his hand to the small of my back. Approaching my car, he would pull me in with that hand alone. I would somewhat float into his arms weightless. He was farmer strong. He never worked out but was somehow completely jacked.. fitting name.. We all joked that he was our bouncer when customers got out of hand.

He would kiss me. The kind you would remember 8 years later. Butterflies every time kinda thing. The kind you both take a breath before you start because who know when you will get air again. His hand would have set up shop on my lower back not moving an inch. Almost like it was foundational for the event. Holding me as steady and as close as possible.

As he waited for me to reply I could feel myself getting sucked into the daydream. Focus Lacey. You just need to focus and get back to work.

I looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah, that would have been awkward.”

He could tell I was angling to end the conversation and leave but before I could he asked “so you work near here? That’s cool! So do I!” pausing for me to ask the obvious

“Oh yeah? What do you do for work now?” I asked.

“Construction. I am building some homes down the road. What about you?” He asked impatiently.

“I’m in Marketing for an industrial company around here. ” There were so many in the area that I was not worried about being honest.

“I always thought you would end up in Atlanta” he said.

I smirked knowing I talked his ear off about moving to the city one too many times.

I saw his eye fall to my left hand. I had no time to hide it from him. For a moment, I even forgot.. his gazed dropped to the asphalt. I could feel the disappointment.

How could HE be disappointed? He had no right to have any emotion about this.

“I hope you are happy.” he eventually mumbled.

Oh give me a break. I just smiled and looked at him. Wishing this interaction could have never happened. I was not ready to talk to anyone about what happened. I cannot tell him the truth. He will absolutely know if I am lying. That I was sure of.

“I need to get back. I am sorry.” I walked towards him but aimed for my door.

He stepped to the side as I opened my car door. “It was good to see you, Jack” I said softly as I got into my car.