This quote that I saw on Instagram stopped me cold. On a Tuesday morning no less, very rude. However it is exactly how I am feeling.

Everything I thought my life would be. I thought that I would be a corporate titan or a stay at home mom. For some reason, I never imagined an in-between. But here I am in the between. I am a working mom who tries her best.

Trying to be someone I am proud of. I think we focus a lot on making others proud of us without adding ourselves to that list. What will make me proud of myself? Is it a certain amount of hard work that will achieve that? Do I have to struggle a certain percentage before I feel it or is it a type of thing that can only occur while looking back?

I can say proudly that I am proud of who I have become so far. But actively proud of my current self is a different story. I work very hard. I try to be the best mom and partner I can be. I attend all of the stupid events the daycare comes up with lol. I just thought things would be different.. I thought I would have a better idea of who I am..

Does not know what the f I am doing take away my ability to be proud of myself? Will this feeling go away or will I always have some part of me that will be unsure?

I am proud that I am admitting to the internet that I don’t know what I am doing. This blog is something I would have not done a year ago. I am working through my stage of life while attempting to be creative.

Many people I talk to feel this way about their lives. There is doubt, confusion, and uncertainty about their current stage while looking back on their life with admiration. They “did their best with the information they had at the time” is a statement that I hear often but.. I don’t know if I feel the same.

Do you feel currently proud of yourself? If so, Why?

Best,
Emmathy